


Never Got A Chance

by MagicalMusing



Series: Carry On Countdown 2018 [3]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Hurt Baz, Hurt Simon, M/M, fiona and baz are abroad negotiating with vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 09:56:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16762846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalMusing/pseuds/MagicalMusing
Summary: Baz is away helping Fiona in Reykjavik,  Simon is patiently waiting for his return to ask a question.





	Never Got A Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Nov 27- Abroad   
> Most of this is in letters, italicized words are meant to be in cursive.

_ Simon, _

_ It's come to my attention how incredibly patient you are with me and this trip. This trip that's quickly turning to be longer than planned and putting an unappetizing sour taste in my mouth. I'd rather is be the sourness of your lips after you've eaten a dozen of those Watford scones, but I cannot be so lucky now can I? _

_ I promise I'll do everything I can to get home soon. Fiona believes we're rather close to finding the Reykjavik vampire nest. If all goes well, negotiations with them will only take a couple days and I'll be free to come home. Plan on me not leaving your side for days, I miss you.  _

_ To the one who makes my dead heart beat again,  _

_ Baz _

  
  


Baz,

I love you. As much as I miss you, as much as I hate not being able to have you in my arms at night, and as much I'm thinking of getting a cat to entertain me while Penny is away at university during the day, take your time. You're doing important work and I for one am extremely proud of you. (Penny is as well, and she disagrees with me about the cat).

You'll be home soon enough so don't worry about a couple more days. Let's just try not to turn a couple days into a couple weeks like the last trip, okay? I'll be here waiting for you, sour scones and and fresh food waiting for you.

You're heart was never dead my love,

Simon

_ Simon, _

_ There you go again, doing what I thought impossible and making me love you even more. You're kindness and love knows no bounds does it, Simon?  _

_ I wish this letter could be pages longer, but Fiona and I are on our way to negotiations. As you know from my previous letters and trips, I won't be able to contact outside parties until everything is settled on both sides. I'll write in a couple days.  _

_ If my hearts not dead, then you make my very dormant heart beat as fast as a hummingbirds, _

_ Baz _

Baz,

Good luck. Get back to me soon.

Penny called you overly mushy, 

Simon

_ Simon, _

_ I don't know what to do Simon. Negotiations went terribly. I thought we were almost done and suddenly they attacked us. I've never fought another vampire before. I've never fought anyone or anything as a vampire before either. Neither of us had our wands. We haven't even technically escaped yet, we're just hiding in their nest hoping they dont find us; wounded and defenseless.  _

_ I'm scared Simon, I don't know how to get out of here or how to save us. I can't even actually write this because of my wound, I'm just speaking out loud and Fiona is writing it down. I just want to see you again, we'll even get you a cat when I get back. Damn what Penelope says on the subject.  _

_ I love you so much Simon. I thought loving someone as much as I love you was terrifying. I thought it was going to be the scariest thing I was ever going to face. As it turns out, the idea of not getting to see you every day of my undead life is the scariest thing I've ever faced. _

_ Wait for me, mushiness and all, _

_ Baz _

_ Simon, _

_ I want nothing more than to return Baz to you. You were good for him, helped him believe in himself, his abilities, you gave him confidence and will to do good again. Damned what his father thought, you two were perfect together.  _

_ I wish I could say I've never felt this pain before, I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn't. I've know outlived my dearest sister and her son. The world is cruel sometimes, but we persevere through the tough times.  _

_ I hope you know Baz did his best to get out, and his only regret was not getting to say goodbye. _

_ Fiona _

Simon stared at the last two letters. Penny hadn't come back from her classes yet, he was alone. For the first time since he found Baz setting the forest around him on fire, since he first kissed Baz, since he asked Baz if he could be his terrible boyfriend...he actually wanted to be alone. 

Baz was gone. He wasn't coming back from this trip. He was never going to hold Baz in his arms again, snuggle against him during a movie, go look at the stars with him again. 

At some point enough tears gathered on his face that they fell onto the letters, spreading the ink and making words difficult to read. But Simon just sat on the couch and continued to cry for hours. 

By the time Penny came home from classes, his tears had run dry, but his eyes remained red, puffy, and strained, his heart still bleeding and broken, and his love gone. 

When Simon finally decided to get into bed, he refolded the letters, grabbed a dark brown box with a map of the world printed on the outside from his closet which held every letter Baz had sent him on his travels. Simon picked up the smaller light gray velvet box that held an obsidian ring. It felt too heavy now, too full of a promise he never got to make, a question he never got to ask.

~~ Be mine forever Baz. Marry me so I can be your terrible husband. ~~


End file.
